It was only a short while ago that I found myself on the worst second date of my life. Everything my date said seemed absolutely asinine, her breath smelled like cigarettes, and she ate like an troll. How could I have been so blind? The first date seemed to go so well.

It turns out that I am not alone. I have heard countless stories from other daters confirming the same phenomenon. Some call it “First Date Syndrome”, some call it the “First Date Hallucinations”, I call it “Shallow Hal Effect”. Fore, like Shallow Hal, you are caught in a world of illusion.

The reason why my second date was not so great is because the first date was not real. It was firmly based on a fantasy date that I had built up in my mind It was the image of the perfect partner that I fell in love with, not the actual person sitting across the table from me.

Basically, she could do no wrong!

Every word, every glance, every smile in my direction was pure heaven. Not because she was an actual descendants from above, but because I built her up in my mind to be such.

It is actually a syndrome of desperation, a syndrome that I was lonely and desperately searching for someone to fill that void. Under these conditions people will often find that the not-so-subtle annoyances can be overlooked in order to satisfy their overriding goal of finding a mate. My situation was no different.

If you have experienced this too, I assure you it is normal. It does not make you deranged, you don’t need to cower in fear of the repercussions. The only real downside is that once you do finally escape from your hallucination, you discover what the person Is truly like, and often it ain’t pretty.

In my case, I found out about 3 minutes after I picked her up from her apartment. Within minutes of getting into the car she asked if I minded if she smoked, then went on to complain about the calluses on her feet, followed by an actual demonstration of the reasons why pantyhose never quite fits right.

When I thought long and hard, I realized that she had done very similar things on our first date. The only difference now was that I had opened my eyes and I was seeing the world through a different lens. The rest of the night was not so pretty.

We all go through it, we all survive, it is part of the dating game. Love, and more importantly, desperation, can have amazing effects on the human mind. Just be sure to keep it in check when possible.

-Safe Dating My Friends!