For those of you daters out there, you will understand full well that there is nothing worse than getting stuck in a rut. It starts out with a couple of weekends home alone, followed by a couple of months since your last real flirtatious encounter, and then (god forbid) you notice it is getting close to a year since the last time you thought you had a shot at meeting up with someone attractive.

The worst part is that this becomes cyclical. The longer you go without a date, the harder it is to actually get a date! Why does this happen? What is it that makes you all of a sudden so undesirable?

The answer is that people want what they can't have, and once vou have been on the market for a significant period of time, you are no longer a hot commodity. The opposite sex can smell desperation, and you no longer seem desirable.

Then on the flip side, after you have gone months without a date, as soon as you finally meet someone you will all of a sudden become a hot commodity. Girls or guys begin flocking around you all at once. How frustrating is that!?

After years of battling through periods of high and low volume, I became determined to sort out a solution to balancing the flow of women in and out of my life. I did not want to end up in any of those deep ruts ever again.

Through a great deal of trial and error, the solution finally occurred to me. If I wanted to be desired by women, I had to desire myself. Sounds oddly self-indulgent doesn't it? I know, and when I explain this to my friends, they usually have a laugh and call me egotistical.

But that's ok! Because at the end of the day I have been able to stabilize and in many ways, increase my dating supply.

The reason this technique works so well is because with successful application, you will be able to alter your state of mind. Desiring yourself provides self-esteem, a boost in testosterone, a heightened sense of confidence, increased endorphins, and an ability to view the world through the eyes of someone with options, not someone facing sheer desperation.

Humans can smell desperation as easily as they can sense heightened levels of confidence, and clearly one is much sexier than the other.

So how do you go about desiring yourself?



It starts right from the moment you first wake up. As soon as you open your eyes you need to smile and think to yourself, "today is going to be a great day"

When you look in the mirror before your shower, you need to look at yourself and say, "damn, you look good today. Well done!"

When you dress, put on clothes that make you feel confident and secure.

When you walk down the street, hold your head up high and smile at the pretty girls/handsome guys who pass you in the street (you will be amazed at how many will smile back).

Talk clearly when you speak to people (don't mumble!).

And when you inevitably do get some bad news or get shot down for a date, let it roll off your back knowing full well that life always sorts it self out. You, and your dating life, will be fine.

Give it a try, an honest try, for at least a couple of weeks and let me know how it goes. I am positive you will notice a significant difference in how you feel, and in how dateable the opposite sex finds you to be.

- Happy dating my friends!

Planning a trip overseas? A vacation, or possibly a backpacking trip? If you leave the airport single, I can almost guarantee that you will not return the same way.

You may not return with the love of your life, or even anyone at all, but the likelihood is that you will meet someone while vacationing abroad. It is a symptom known as "Dating TraveLeration", where the traveler becomes inexplicably sexually and emotionally liberated.

There is just something about being in a different country that allows people to exercise their hedonistic side. They get rid of their old hang-ups, leave the emotional baggage at home, and allow themselves to become sexually and emotionally honest possibly for the first time in their life.

Just check out a Girls Gone Wild video for proof. And it is not only the young people. 63% of single American's surveyed reported having a fling (however innocent) while travelling, at some point in their adult life.

Sociologists have linked this to the culture of travel, where people get the sense from resorts and advertising that "anything goes". This sinks into the brain and helps people get over their socially imposed limitations around sex and relationships. But hey, why not? If this is what humans need to allow for pleasure and relaxation, then I say go for it! Just be safe!

Given that this article is about dating advice for travelers, I should add in some of what I was supposed to be talking about.

If you want to screw round with the locals, by all means, but don't find yourself alone in an alley, or in a car, or somewhere elsewhere there is no method of escape. Although it is not common, there are the rare cases where locals take advantage of naive tourists. Do us all a favor, and do not become another statistic.

Use protection. I know, I know, this is so overdone, but the reality is travelers report using condoms far less than their non-travelling counterparts do. Don't come back pregnant, or having gotten someone pregnant, it will really ruin those precious vacation memories.

Try not to fall in love. Vacations and travel are romantic, but they are not reality. Everything on vacation is good and happy, but that person who you fall in love with while travelling is likely not the same person when they return home to reality. In the face of mounting bills, long work hours, and stressful traffic, they will likely show their normal side, the side you did not see on vacation.

These are the main points to remember, you can likely fill in the rest. Enjoy the sun, the sand, and the great cocktails by the beach. Enjoy your hedonism too, but just do not let it ruin the trip.

Safe travels!

You wouldn’t think that this is rocket science, but if there is anything that Blind Date, or a recent episode of The Millionaire Matchmaker has taught me, is that most guys, and even some girls just don’t get it. Never fear, Date Me Dammit! To the rescue with some proper dating and relationship advice.

If you are on a first or second date, and things seem to be going well, you will likely ask yourself, “When is a good time to lean in for a kiss?” at some point, right? Of course you will! Nothing would end the date better than landing a smooch from that hottie across the table. But you have to time it right!

First off, don’t get too overzealous. Let the date progress in its own way. Don’t start prodding and probing your date about whether they like you or not. This may seem like the safe play, but the reality is that it makes you look needy and desperate. Relax, breathe, and try to get a vibe for how well you feel things are going.

If you have established that there is a little bit of chemistry going on, then begin to lean toward your date during conversation. If you are out to dinner lean forward on the table, if you are in a club, lean in pretending that you are having trouble hearing. Do whatever you have to do to position your bodies closer together. This is extremely important for getting an understanding of your date’s body language.

Once you are in close proximity, begin observing the body language of your date. Are they moving away from you as soon as they have said what they wanted to say, or are they staying in close during conversation. Do they have their arms crossed, or are they open and receptive to you as you speak. Does your date look into your eyes, or are they always looking around the room. Read the clues people! Get past your own ego and read the clues! Your date’s body language can tell you everything!

Do not lean in for a kiss unless your lips are a minimum of 2 feet away from each other at the time of approach! I have seen some people try to get the first date kiss from across the table, when their date is fully leaning back in their own chair. What ends up happening is that the one person leans all the way in, while the other remains seated back. There is no way to pretend you had any other intention than going for a kiss, and when the other person rejects you, you are left looking ridiculous and embarrassed.

If they are being very receptive and open during conversation - whether it be at the club, pub restaurant, car, movies, or even the front door at the end of the date - then you may have a shot. This is the time to make your move. Wait for that moment when you feel the electricity between your bodies build, and lean in ever so slightly. Pause to see if your date is doing the same, if not you still have a chance to make it look like you swayed forward a little off balance. Master the recovery, and you can save face.

If your date is also beginning to lean in, then this is the moment to go for it! This is the point of no return. Lean in and softly press your lips against your date’s. Don’t drive straight for the tungue, make it sweet and sensual. Follow the advice of the eternal date doctor “Hitch” and remember that 80% of people will judge the likelihood of a successful relationship by the feeling they get during the first kiss. Don’t muck it up! And don’t get all slobbery and toungy!

A first kiss is all about feeling, not ego. If you want your ego stroked, you will think everyone wants to kiss you. The result is a lot of bruised ego! If you want a real moment under the stars, wait for the feeling, wait for the moment, wait for the sensual lust, and the rest will follow.

-Safe dating!

Believe me, it is a lot tougher than it sounds. As we approach the end of the ultra-women's liberation era, men find themselves wondering, "What the hell do I do now?" Is it ok to open the door for your date, or will she think that it is sexist and dominating? Should men still pick up the check, or is it all Dutch style now? If I bring her flowers, will she think that I am too needy and soft?

Questions like these and others like them will finally be answered here!

The Simple Gestures
Being a man on a first date takes more than simple gestures, it takes a whole new way of looking at things. Yes, you should still open doors, bring flowers, pull chairs, and walk your date to the door at the end of the night. Forget the fear of Women's Lib and do it anyway! These are the beautiful gestures that make our society such a great place to live.

If I go out on one more date a see a guy letting the door hit his girlfriend in the face as he rudely walks in ahead of her, I am going to flip out. This is not okay, this is not cool. I do not care what kind of modern world we live in, chivalry should never die!

On to other things.


Active Listening
The next step to being a man is taking the time to listen to what your date has to say. Active listening is the key to showing her that you appreciate what she has to say, that you respect her as a person, and that there is no other place in the entire world that you would rather be. Men of the past were self-indulgent egomaniacs; men of the future are more than willing to share the spotlight and much of the attention with their date. Trust me guys, this will be the new competitive advantage.

Stepping Up
When you are out on a date, take the time to make sure your girl has everything she needs. If the food comes out wrong, take control of the situation and sort it out for her. If it is raining outside, take off your jacket and help cover the expensive hairdo she went to all the trouble of getting just for that date. Step up, be a man, and show your date that you care about her wellbeing. There might be some girls who will see this as domineering, but the reality is, it is these simple actions that make the world of a difference.

Pick Up the Check
I know that going Dutch is what everyone is doing these days, but it is stupid! I am not sure what else to say. If you ask a girl out on a date, pay for the freakin meal guys! Don’t be so friggin cheap, and don’t give me lame excuses like, “I was short on cash” or “She wouldn’t let me pay” or “She asked me out, so she should pay”. I have heard them all, and it is a big load of crap.

Being a man means showing your date that you care enough to pick up the $50 tab. Being a man means working a little bit harder in order to make sure that your date does not need to pull out her purse to help you cover the remaining $5. It is this tiny little gesture that shows your date that you care, and that you value the fact that she has offered to spend a Friday night alone with you.

I could go on forever about what it takes to be a man, but I think I have given most of you a good starting point. From what I have seen, just attempting these few steps will be a challenge for most men out there. However, I believe there is hope for my gender, and I believe that together we can stand up and make the dating world a much better place.

Let me know your thoughts.


-Safe dating everyone!

It is not always easy to scrounge together enough cash for a super awesome first date. That is why we have created this simple guide for creating a memorable, but cheap, first date experience.


Cook Dinner
Your date will be extremely impressed if you break out the chef skills and make them a wonderful dinner. Check out recipe.com for some great dinner ideas.

Go Bowling
The ultimate of cheap date activities. Bowling will let you show how athletic you are with a 10 pound ball between your legs, while impressing your date with strike after strike of nighttime fun. It might sound cheesy at first, but we guarantee that you will have the best time imaginable. Best of all, if you are willing to go on a Tuesday night, you can usually find a “happy hour” rate.

Play Wii
The Nintendo Wii is fast becoming a first date necessity. With controls that are easy for even the most novice players, the Wii can be an awesomely fun first date solution. If you don’t have a Wii, you can usually rent one for cheap from places like Blockbuster.

Use the Afternoon
By shifting your date from the evening to the afternoon, you can take advantage of numerous discount activities. For example, movie theaters usually offer a discounted matinee, taking a walk in the park is safe and free, taking a scenic drive will only cost you gas money – the options are limitless!

Visit Costco and IKEA
Sounds like a ridiculous date, but it can be an adventure in and of itself. Costco is loaded with free samples that you and your date can cruise, and IKEA offers $1 food and drinks as well as hours of entertainment through their lengthy furniture exhibits. This is discount dating at its finest.

Volunteer
What better way to show your date that you care about the community then to volunteer. This activity is free, it does some good for society, and is often a lot of fun.

Go to the Beach
If it is summer weather, then pack a cooler and take advantage of the world’s greatest free activity. Hanging out at the beach is fun, relaxing, and best of all; you will have the opportunity to see your date with very little clothing on. This can really rev up the sexual tension of your first date, and make for a memorable experience.

I cannot tell you how many times I meet a womsn who asks me "How do I talk to men?" To be honest, I was always under the impression that women were cool, that they had it all under control. I had no idea that when a girl likes a guy, she feels just as useless as the rest of us.

This article, as you can see, is written from the male perspective. My goal is to share the secrets that men have (which isn’t very many) about the best way to let us know that you are interested. I have identified 5 secrets that women must know for approaching a guy. Although admittedly, I struggled to find 5.



Secret #1 – Guys Love Women
Guys are simple creatures. We are not overly complex, and our main mission in life is to meet women. Some scientists have argued that the male brain thinks of sex once every 8 seconds. I know some guys who would argue that it is far more.

Wait, this is no secret, everyone knows that! Yes, it is true, secret #1 is not a secret at all. So, why are you struggling to talk to that cute guy? If a man's main goal in life is to meet women, what in the world could you have to lose by talking to him? The reality is, even if the guy is not interested in you, he will be enormously flattered that you had the courage to approach him.



Secret #2 – Guys Love Confidence
Contrary to popular belief, guys love intelligent women. Approaching a guy with the confidence that says, “I am beautiful, I am intelligent, and I would like to share all that I have to offer with you” is the absolute best way to score a date with a guy.

Confidence is an addictive quality. Once you have been with someone with confidence, you can never go back. Unless you are one of those people with low self-esteem who relies on belittling others. But who wants to be with those people anyway? Let your confidence show through, and you will attract guys of an equal caliber.



Secret #3 – Guys Love Honesty
Approaching a guy may seem difficult and/or unnatural. There are not a lot of pick up lines out there for women to use. And unless you are planning on using a cheesy pick-up line as an ice breaker, to inject some humor, I wouldn’t even try.

Guys love honesty, and are attracted to honest women. If you want to know if a guy likes you, simply ask him. If you really like a guy, tell him. But don’t do this in front of his friends, at work, or at school. Do it somewhere when you are alone, together. And if it is at a bar, try to get the guy alone by the bar or on the dance floor. He will be shocked by the honesty, and turned on by the bravery.



Secret #4 – Guys Love Technology
Guys have always loved video games and computers. They will spend hours with their friends playing online, and there are even Blackberry support groups for the girlfriends and wives of men who own the addictive little device.

Why not use the technology to your advantage? If you are interested in a guy, text him! It is a modern world, and getting a guy's attention often requires more than a low-cut dress. Sending him a text to let him know that you are interested can be just the key to grabbing his attention, plus it makes it much easier for the shy ladies out there.

The key to success with this is again, be honest! Do not play crazy phone flirty games, in an attempt to keep him interested by keeping him guessing. Just be straight up and honest about how you feel. That way, he won’t get bored, and wont move on to the next text that is coming through.



Secret #5 – Guys Do not Like Perfume
Ok, I know that men are the major perpetrators of cologne abuse. But I declare that AXE commercials made us do it! What is your excuse?

To be fair, most colognes and perfumes do smell good, but unfortunately, most people who wear them do not understand the limits of normal use. There is nothing worse than a girl who comes to chat, and you find yourself choking and your nose burning.

My advice is to have a shower, and use a scented body wash. This is the perfect amount of scent to attract that guy you desire, and not so much that you will send him running for the hills.


Happy Dating!

"Where do I go to meet girls?" is the most common question that I get. It seems that even though there are close to 30 million single and eligible women in the United States alone, men still struggle to score a date with just one of them.

The biggest problem is that men simply do not know where to start. They are clueless about where to go to meet women.

Yes, of course there are many of you out there saying, "That's easy, just head out to the bar!" - That response is way too simplistic, and ridiculously wrong on so many levels.

First of all, in your quest to meet women you always want to be sure that you are presenting the best that you (as an individual) have to offer. This does not happen at the bar. Getting wasted off your ass, high fiving your friends every time a good looking girl walks by, and then slobbering all over her as you try to get a snog on the dance floor is a recipe for disaster. Even if you are able to control yourself and she does go home with you that night, to what avail? She has proven that she is easy, and you have proven that you are a player (or visa versa).

The men and women that frequent the bar are generally high maintenance, ego-riders. They will forever be more interested in themselves than they will ever be in you. It simply isn’t worth the effort. Believe me, I was there, I did that, I invented the T-shirt.

The reality is, the bar is the absolute worst place to meet quality women.

So where do you go next?

The pub? Noooo.... what did I just say about alcohol and being at your best!? The strippers? You can try, but ... really?

So where then?

The answer is simple. Go where the other guys don’t. Where is that you say? Virtually everywhere! All you have to do is find something that you enjoy doing (other than drinking) and do it. Believe me, if you enjoy doing it, there are women who enjoy it as well.

If you like to draw, then take an art class. If you like to dance, then take a group Salsa lesson. If you like to ski, then join a ski and snowboard club. Find things that make you happy, find activities that you will pursue into the foreseeable future, and it is there that you will meet the kind of woman you have been dreaming of.

For example, if your passion is art and you decide to take an art class, you will be surrounded by women who share a similar passion. In this situation, it will be ridiculously easy to strike up conversation. "Hey, that is great work, can I see some of your other paintings?" Simple, straight forward, and to the point. She will love it, and you wont have to sweat bullets or pound shots just to muster the courage to talk to her.

In a group dance class it is even easier because the coaches do all the work for you. They usually get everyone together in a circle and have you switch partners ever song or so. It's like speed dating without the pressure. Plus you get to try out your dance moves without looking like an idiot - after all, everyone in the class is a beginner!

Joining simple social activities, without the added pressure of going to a bar or a pub, is the best way to meet women. It makes things casual, social, and entertaining, which is the key to successfully meeting a quality girl.

At the end of the day, you have a choice to make. Are you looking for an awesome girl to be with, or just “some” girl for the moment. It most cases it is the former rather than the latter that attracts men, so get out there and try something new, you will be amazed at the quality and breadth of women that exist outside of the bar.

My advice is simple: get out of the house, abandon the club, and follow your passions to a much more fulfilling dating experience. The girls are out there, you just need to take the next step and make yourself visible to them.

-Safe dating my friends!